Spider-Man is Dead. A New Hero is Born

Aaron Joseph Purmort

Aaron Joseph Purmort

When Aaron Purmort (1979-2014) knew that he didn’t have much time remaining to live, he wrote his own obituary, in which he made a startling revelation:

“Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).”

It ends by noting that he is survived by his son Ralph, “who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.”

One superhero passes away, but another rises to take his place.


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