Many people are lifelong sports fans. For some, their dedication is so strong that it carries on past death, including the need to get in one last dig against their favorite team.
A Friend of Petty Criminals, Prostitutes and/or Republicans
From the obituary of Louis J. Casimir Jr.: Louis J. Casimir Jr. bought the farm Thursday, Feb. 5, 2004, having lived more than twice as long as he had expected and probably […]
What Happens When Buffalo Butt, Old Fart, Funny Face, and Thunder Child Mourn Beef/Pork/Bubba?
From the obituary of James Robert “Beef” Ward: James Robert “Beef” Ward, 39, passed away Thursday, September 1, 2005, at O.S.U. East Hospital. He will be sadly and sorely missed by his […]
In Lieu of Flowers, Send Acerbic Letters
From the obituary of Theodore Roosevelt Heller: Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the […]
Remembering Cruel Sisters In Death
From the obituary of Edward “Bruce” Merritt: Born April 3, 1951 in North Carolina. He was one of eight children. His older sisters regularly beat him up, put him in dresses, and […]
Reading for Pleasure
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow
Spider-Man is Dead. A New Hero is Born
When Aaron Purmort (1979-2014) knew that he didn’t have much time remaining to live, he wrote his own obituary, in which he made a startling revelation: “Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died […]
No Tears Shed at This Funeral
Obituaries typically portray the dearly-departed in the best of light. That being the case, one can’t help but wonder what Dolores Aguilar (1929-2008) was really like. Consider this excerpt from her obituary, […]