Fashion, we’re told, is about expression. It’s about confidence. It’s about fierce individuality and that one oddly specific TikTok trend that somehow makes Crocs formalwear. But sometimes, fashion is also about reserving a space for a pocket watch you’ll never own or replacing lost buttons you didn’t need in the first place. Not all fashion designs can claim they were invented by Albert Einstein, after all.

Let us take you by the lapel—literally—and stroll through the closet of clothing quirks and fashion features that once served a purpose but now only serve confusion.

1. Sleeve Buttons: The Anti-Snot Defense (and Maybe Surgical Prep?)

If you ever questioned the reason for buttons on the sleeves of a suit jacket, you probably were told that they were placed there to stop soldiers from wiping their noses on their sleeves. If so, congratulations—you’ve stumbled upon one of fashion history’s most gloriously unhygienic urban legends. According to the oft-told tale, military leaders like Napoleon or Frederick the Great, after witnessing one too many sleeve-sliming episodes, ordered tailor-made deterrents in the form of irritating metal buttons placed precisely where nostrils might roam. Over time, those buttons gravitated to the other side of the sleeve, where they remain today. Classy, right?

Although the tale is frequently repeated, there really isn’t any solid historical documentation to back it up. In truth, these sleeve buttons (also known as cuff buttons) may have simply emerged from military fashion traditions and evolved into decorative flair. Even so, the myths persist—and we kind of love that. And if they serve the purpose of stopping just one person from using a sleeve instead of a handkerchief, all of our lives are enriched by them.

2. The Mysterious Mini Pocket in Your Jeans

You know the one. There’s a good chance you were told the purpose of that pocket is to hold your spare change. It’s really not all that practical for that purpose, though, is it? That’s because it wasn’t designed to be your portable piggy bank.

That teeny-tiny pocket within a pocket on your jeans that can’t even hold a was originally designed in the 1800s to hold a pocket watch. Long before anyone was concerned about where to put the three cents change from the purchase of a pack of gum, cowboys needed to know when it was time to get along, little doggie.

Pocket watches, alas, have all but disappeared from the scene, but the pocket remains. Go ahead, and use it for your spare coins if you want. As for us, we’re going shopping for a pocket watch that is appropriate for all casual Fridays at the office.

3. The Ticket Pocket: For All Your Imaginary Theater Nights

That extra mini-pocket above the regular one on a blazer? It’s called a “ticket pocket.” In a rare example of things being named logically, it served the purpose of — wait for it — holding tickets.

Originating in Victorian England, the ticket pocket was the place to store your train or opera tickets. Those were the days when people did classy things like ride trains and go to the opera. Today, it is probably the repository for lint, crumbs, and your fading hope that you will get to go to something so fancy that you have an opportunity to use the pocket for the purpose for which it was designed.

4. The Lapel Buttonhole: A Button With No Buddy

Blazers often come with a single hole on the left lapel. Well, technically, these days, most of the time that hole is sewn shut, making you wonder why they went to the trouble of putting it there in the first place.

No, it’s not a manufacturing error—it used to be for buttoning the jacket all the way up in cold weather. Of course, this would require a button on the other side, which no longer exists. Perhaps it gravitated to the sleeve and would provide the elusive answer to why those sleeves are there (see #1, above, in case you skipped that discussion). So now, it’s a stylish hole. Just a hole. A fashionable void. The fashion world’s parallel to the appendix, male nipples, the Kardashians, and other things that no longer serve any functional purpose..

Unlike Hanson Gregory, who created the donut hole, we don’t even know who to thank — or blame — for this enshrined example of fashion obsoleteness.

5. Epaulettes: Shoulder Pads That Were Actually Functional

That little strap on your coat shoulder? That’s an epaulette. Originally used in military uniforms to display rank or keep a rifle strap from slipping.

Now, it is primarily decorative — unless you happen to be a pilot or you need to keep your man purse in place as you dash through the airport while questioning your life choices.

6. Collar Stays: The Hidden Stiffness of Success

Men’s dress shirts often come with thin plastic or metal tabs hidden in the collar tips. These “collar stays” keep collars looking sharp, like the shirt equivalent of motivational life coaches. Once made of whalebone (because whales are renowned for always wearing pristine collars), they now just slide out in the wash to begin their new lives as lint trap escapees.

7. Surgeon’s Cuffs: Functional… If You Need to Reach Into Someone’s Guts

Some high-end suits have “working cuffs”—sleeve buttons that actually open. Known as “surgeon’s cuffs,” they were once practical for battlefield surgery. The well-groomed surgeon wouldn’t want to get blood and gore on his sleeves (and apparently couldn’t be bothered to take his jacket off before diving in).

Surgeon’s cuffs have long been flaunted as the calling card of top-tier tailoring, thanks to their roots on Savile Row, the Beyoncé of suit streets. To prove they’re not just for show, some guys deliberately leave one button undone, as if to whisper, “Yes, my suit is fancy enough for real buttons, and yes, I do have the disposable income to back it up.” It’s basically the sartorial equivalent of revving your Bentley in a school zone.

The rest of us get mocked for leaving buttons unbuttoned. Life sure is unfair.

Interested in learning more about this? Check out this video from Gentleman’s Gazette to learn more than you thought possible about the history of surgeon’s cuffs.

8. The D-Ring on Backpacks: Mystery of the Hiking World

That odd little metal loop on the front of your backpack strap? It’s called a D-ring. It’s there to hold gear—flashlights, whistles, carabiners—assuming you’re Indiana Jones on a field trip. For most of us, it’s where you hang your emotional baggage. Figuratively. Maybe.

Final Thoughts from the Forgotten Fashion Features Crypt

These sartorial throwbacks are the clothing equivalent of ancient runes—mysterious, often useless, but somehow still cool. While we may not use them as intended, we keep them around like the fashion equivalent of a rotary phone: charming, perplexing, quaint, and basically useless. Basically, the way our first girlfriend described us to her parents.

The next time you slip on your blazer, tuck your tiny jeans pocket watch into place, and strut into the world with your surgeon’s cuffs open, just know—you’re wearing history. Confusing, impractical, over-designed history. And isn’t that what fashion is all about?

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