“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns Read more funny quotes. Read more fun facts about comedians and comedy.
Close Family + Distance = Happiness
Skeptical Sagittarians
“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” — Arthur C. Clarke Read more funny quotes. Read Clarke’s Laws and other eponymous laws.
Einstein’s Relationship Change Coefficient
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change; women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” — Albert Einstein Read more great quotes. Read […]
Marital Harmony Through Murderous Musings
Comedian Jack Benny commented on the success of his marriage to co-star Mary Livingstone. He said, “My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we […]
The Right Perspective for Politics
“What we have to do is take the bull by the tail and look the situation squarely in the face.” — Lyndon B. Johnson
Andrew Lloyd Webber: No Beauty Contestant
“Can you watch Andrew Lloyd Webber? He looks like he’s had his face carved off by a diseased butcher. Put in a piñata. Beaten with hockey sticks for six hours, and […]
The Trendsetting Benefits of Bad Fashion
“Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style. It will look ridiculous year after year.” — Fred Allen
Just How Ugly Was She?
“The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all, but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth – pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a […]
Princess Anne Doesn’t Take it Personally
Bette Midler said of Princess Anne, “She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.” source Read more insults. Read more funny quotes.
Betting on the Intelligence (or Lack Thereof) of the Masses
“No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating […]
No Awards for Presidential Grammar
H.L. Mencken did not hide his dislike of President Warren G. Harding. He especially loathed Harding’s mangling of the English language and called such utterings “Gamalielese”, in honor of the President’s middle […]
Government’s Scary Reassurance
“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.” — Ronald Reagan
Commonplace Fun Facts 