It’s safe to assume that most voters want their elected representatives to clean things up. That’s true, whether your concept of “clean” applies to the environment, ethics, or political discourse. In other words, we want our politicians to cut the —- um — well — cut the poop out of things, don’t we?

Editor’s Note: We pause briefly while the writing staff gets a hasty lesson is how to avoid offensive language, accompanied by a well-deserved scrubbing of the mouth with soap.

What would you say to the President who made it a priority to promote more poop? Surely, anyone who would think that should be a central plank on the party’s political platform would be an unusual sort of politician. Then again, with a name like Millard Fillmore, you can expect some oddities.

Fillmore’s first State of the Union message to Congress was shortly after the death of Zachary Taylor. Still in the honeymoon period of his presidency, it was Fillmore’s opportunity to capitalize upon the sympathy and good will of the nation by pushing a bold, new agenda. In his mind, nothing had greater importance than acquiring as much bird poop (guano) as possible.

In his 1850 message, he said:

Peruvian guano has become so desirable an article to the agricultural interest of the United States that it is the duty of the Government to employ all the means properly in its power for the purpose of causing that article to be imported into the country at a reasonable price. Nothing will be omitted on my part toward accomplishing this desirable end.

Fillmore’s push for the government to pursue guano “by all means properly in its power” led to a boom in guano mining and ultimately the Guano Islands Act of 1856, signed into law by his successor, Franklin Pierce. The Guano Islands Act would set the stage for America’s expansion in the Pacific and beyond.

Sadly, Fillmore’s visionary initiative rarely gets the recognition it deserves. He continues to be remembered as the president with the weirdest name and perhaps the oddest final words: “This nourishment is palatable.”

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