With the average annual cost of college tuition, fees, and housing soaring past $25,000, everyone is talking about massive student loan debt. Clearly, universities and students alike are trying to be wise and discerning by pursuing courses of study that will provide the biggest bang for the buck.

Wait a minute… Scratch that… We’re talking about Academia and the Ivory Tower — a place that has no connection whatsoever to the real world. If you need any proof of that, take a look at some of the most unusual college courses being offered. These weird college courses may not help you pay off your student loan debt, but they can equip you with useless degrees that might help you better argue why the government who pay off your student loans.

Welcome to the brave new world of academia, where tomorrow’s workforce might just walk into a job interview with a transcript full of punchlines disguised as serious subjects. Buckle up—here are the most head-scratching courses now gracing college catalogs.

1. David Beckham Studies — Staffordshire University, UK

This course, officially known as “Football Culture,” is more widely referred to by the name of the squeaky-voiced soccer icon himself, David Beckham. It’s not alone in the realm of celebrity studies—Harvard offers a course on Madonna, the University of Illinois teaches Oprah Winfrey Studies, and Pasadena has Filmology of Keanu Reeves. If your dream is to be able to speak intelligently about the latest big celebrity—while waiting tables at your local diner—this is the course for you.

2. Goldberg’s Canon: Making Whoopi — Bates College

Whoopi Goldberg’s career is the focus of this course, which explores topics like “Alien Whoopi” from Star Trek, and “Renaissance Whoopi” in Elizabeth Regina. There’s even a segment titled, “What Aunt Jemima Might Say if She Stepped Off that Box.” If you can belt out tunes like Whoopi did in Sister Act, maybe you’ll make better tips waiting tables.

3. Oh, Look! A Chicken! — Belmont University

This course at Belmont University invites students to embrace their distracted minds. The course description itself is full of digressions, from talking about bacon to little ants carrying morsels of food across a table. By the end of this class, you may have fully embraced your inability to focus and be primed for a career where you, too, will be distracted from any actual job qualifications.

4. Surf Science and Technology — Cornwall College & Plymouth University

If you ever wanted a degree in surfing, now’s your chance. This degree covers everything from Surf Business to the Sociological and Psychological Perspectives of Surfing. While it may sound fun, you might just surf your way straight into the unemployment line.

5. Parapsychology — Various Colleges

Ever wanted to get paid to investigate haunted houses? Parapsychology might be your calling. Dedicated to the study of the paranormal, you can enroll in universities worldwide, from Coventry and Edinburgh in the UK to Belford and Flamel in the USA. Graduates are well-equipped for a career in…haunting the unemployment office.

6. The Phallus — Occidental College

This course digs into Freudian concepts, exploring “the phallus” and its numerous cultural implications. The syllabus promises studies on the lesbian, Jewish, and Latino phalluses. The question remains: Will any of these phalluses help you find a job?

7. Star Trek and Philosophy — Georgetown University

Admittedly, all of us at Commonplace Fun Facts are Trekkies. Even so, we are dubious about the value of Georgetown University’s philosophy class about Star Trek. It teaches students the art of philosophy through Captain Kirk and Spock’s adventures.

If that’s not enough, you can head to Indiana University for Star Trek combined with religion. And if all else fails, perhaps a Vulcan salute at a job interview will help.

As a certain pointy-eared fellow might say, “Most illogical.”

8. Puppet Arts — University of Connecticut

We aren’t opposed to learning about puppets. One of our first articles on Commonplace Fun Facts explains why Muppets are left-handed. We probably wouldn’t spend money for a college-level course on puppets, though.

For those who disagree, UConn offers a degree in Puppet Arts. Classes include everything from Marionette Performance to Scene Design. While there might be a need for puppeteers, we suspect most graduates will be entertaining their fellow waitstaff with sock puppet skills.

9. Learning from YouTube — Pitzer College

Imagine spending your college days watching YouTube videos in your pajamas. Pitzer College offers just that. This course requires students to watch videos, discuss them, and leave comments. Let’s hope the curriculum also includes a video on how to file for unemployment.

10. Queer Musicology — UCLA

At UCLA, Queer Musicology studies whether the LGBTQ+ community hears and produces music differently. While this course is aimed at promoting diversity, we’re dubious about how to impacts marketability for employment.

11. The Science of Harry Potter — Frostburg University

Frostburg University offers an honors seminar that uses Harry Potter as an excuse to study physics. It sounds like fun, but it may just be a way to watch Harry Potter movies while getting academic credit.

12. The Sociology of Miley Cyrus — Skidmore College

This course studies Miley Cyrus, analyzing her journey from Disney tween to twerking sensation. The title alone, “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media,” gives the illusion of intellectual rigor, but we doubt hiring managers will be impressed.

13. What If Harry Potter Is Real? — Appalachian State University

This class explores questions about history through the lens of Harry Potter. Students discuss how fantasy can reshape history and explore issues of race, class, and gender in the Potterverse.

How long would the course last, however, if, on the first day, someone spoke up and said, “You realize, of course, that Harry Potter is not real”?

Afterward, they may want to consider a follow-up course: “What if I really need a paycheck?”

14. How to Win a Beauty Pageant — Oberlin College

Analyzing beauty pageants from a sociocultural perspective, this course teaches everything from critical discourse analysis to ethnography. While beauty queens may play a role in society, it’s unclear if this course will make any real impact on the job market.

We can’t pass this subject up without pointing our readers to one of the best examples of why “beauty pageant” and “higher education” should never be mentioned in the same sentence. See this video from the Miss Teen USA 2007 competition.

15. Philosophy of Phish — Oregon State University

This course lets Phish fans study philosophy through the lens of their favorite band. The professor teaches from the road while following Phish’s summer tour. While it sounds like a dream for the die-hard fan, it seems like students are subsidizing her groupie lifestyle rather than gaining any practical skills.

16. Getting Dressed — Princeton University

Princeton offers a seminar on the social significance of clothing in 20th-century America. Students keep a “literary sketchbook” of their observations about clothing in their surroundings.

For those who want to save some money, we offer this helpful summary of the class:

1. Are you planning to leave your home?
2. If so, are you wearing clothes?
3. If not, put clothes on before you leave your home.

Hear endeth the lesson.

17. How to Watch Television — Montclair State University

Yes, you read that right. This course teaches students how to watch TV. We’re assuming graduate courses cover such advanced topics as “How to Use the Remote.”

18. Arguing With Judge Judy — UC Berkeley

This course helps students refine their logic by studying the tactics used by guests on Judge Judy and The People’s Court. Though the course isn’t about legal reasoning, it may come in handy if your dream job involves winning an argument on daytime television.

19. Adventure Education — Plymouth State University

Teaching students how to use the Great Outdoors to help others discover personal growth, this course promises to prepare you for leading outdoor adventures. Let’s hope they also teach you how to lead yourself to a paycheck.

20. Bagpiping — Carnegie Mellon University

Carnegie Mellon offers a degree in bagpiping, Scotland’s official musical instrument. While we fully support all things Scottish, we’re skeptical about the market for professional bagpipers outside of weddings or parades.

21. Canadian Studies — Duke University

Duke University offers a degree in Canadian Studies, where students learn all about the culture and history of Canada. While Canada is a great nation, it’s unclear how this degree will help you if you’re not, you know, in Canada.

22. Popular Culture — Bowling Green State University

This course promises to educate students about everyday life and mass media, including rock music, movies, and television. Ironically, the very things you’re studying may be the reason you won’t need a degree to soak up popular culture.

There you have it… Twenty-two sure-fire ways to blow through all of your student loans and leave you infinitely better prepared to… well… owe a lot of money, we guess.

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