Cancun: It’s Not The Perfect Vacation Spot By Accident

Cancun. We’ve never been there because, frankly, the salary and benefits package that comes with being a blog writer predates the 13th Amendment’s prohibition against slavery and involuntary servitude.

We’re told, however, that it’s a great place for a vacation. White sandy beaches, luxurious accommodations, and — depending on the time of year — nearly enough sounds of waves and seagulls to drown out the noise of partying college students on spring break.

But here’s the kicker: when we say it’s a great place for a vacation, we actually mean that it’s the perfect place. We’re being painfully literal. Cancun didn’t just pop up like an overzealous sunburn—it was built from scratch in the 1970s, courtesy of the Bank of Mexico and a handy-dandy computer algorithm that said, “Yup, this exact spot on the Yucatan Peninsula is statistically the best place to blow through your built-up paid vacation allowance.”

Intrigued? Well, you’d better be, because we’re about to dive headfirst into how Cancun went from snake-infested nothingness to the world’s most glamorous hangover factory.

Mexico’s Tourism Boom

Let’s rewind to the late 1960s, when international flights were getting cheaper thanks to bigger planes. These new sky behemoths carried more people, and tourist destinations were trying to convince everyone that theirs was the best place to carry them.

Meanwhile, back in the U.S., the middle class wasn’t just a myth on a politician’s campaign trail. People actually had the disposable income to leave their homes and their jobs for a few days to get away from it all.

Mexico saw an opportunity. The folks in charge of trying to lure tourists turned to the Bank of Mexico with a cool $2 million—which is like $17 million in today’s money—and said, “If you build it, they will come.” The Bank of Mexico said, “If we build what?” The response was, “The perfect vacation destination.” To which, the Bank asked, “OK… But where?” The higher-ups answered, “That’s what the $2 million is for. Figure it out.”

The Bank of Mexico blinked, probably questioned why they weren’t using pesos instead of dollars, and then shrugged. They created a special tourism division called Infratur and got to work finding the perfect vacation spot. But how do you even begin to find the “perfect” stretch of sand in a country with over 6,000 miles of coastline? Simple: you let the computers do it.

Computers: Not Just for Pong Anymore

Remember, this was the 1970s. Computers weren’t the sleek, pocket-sized gadgets we use to play “Cats In Time” when we should be studying. No, these were massive, room-filling beasts that hummed ominously and probably judged your typing skills.

Infratur fed these machines data from successful resorts like Miami and Acapulco. They considered everything: weather patterns, travel distances, hurricane frequency, and how many tourists can be eaten by local wildlife before people start leaving negative reviews on Yelp. The computers chugged along, almost melting from the sheer volume of calculations. Eventually, they had to outsource some of the work to a guy in California, who thankfully wasn’t distracted by “Cats In Time” because — well — this is the 1970s.

After much digital head-scratching and the occasional tantrum, the computers spat out the winning location: a tiny island off the Yucatan Peninsula. The name? It roughly translated to “overfilled with snakes.” Charming, right? Even better, this snake haven was home to exactly three people. On the plus side: minimal sharks, beautiful geography, and an economy that promised lots of potential workers meant the locals were more than ready to welcome a parade of rowdy tourists with open arms (and possibly mosquito nets).

Building Cancun: From Jungle to Jetset

With the perfect spot locked in, it was time to transform this snake-infested paradise into a bustling vacation hub. The Bank of Mexico crossed their fingers and dove in headfirst. They dug 16 wells (because overpriced bottled water is only going to get you so far), laid down 62 miles of sewers (because the contents of the overpriced bottled water has to go somewhere), and dragged in power lines from 100 miles away.

But building Cancun wasn’t just about slapping up a few hotels and calling it a day. They had to create an entire city to support the tourism industry. That meant schools, hospitals, houses, roads—you know, all the stuff that makes a place livable for people who aren’t just there for a weekend of regrettable decisions.

Oh, and let’s not forget the airport. Because what’s the point of having the world’s best beach if no one can actually get there? So, they built a giant international airport right in the middle of the jungle. Problem solved.

Cancun’s Rise to Fame

Fast forward a few years, and voila—Cancun was an undeniable success. From an initial population of three in 1970, it exploded to 1,000 residents in 1974; 11,000 in 1978; and went over 100,000 by 1987. Today, more than 1 million people claim Cancun as home.

It is in moments like this that we regret not paying more attention during the statistics portion of math class. We always thought the primary purpose of statistics was to use numbers to cover up the fact that you’re lying through your teeth. The planning and development of Cancun only goes to show that the perfect vacation spot doesn’t just happen by accident; if you plan it with a bunch of statisticians and computer geeks, you can make it happen.

So, the next time someone scoffs at technology and claims computers are just a passing fad, you can smugly point out that they did at least one thing right: triangulating the exact location where countless teenagers would have hazy, half-remembered moments of losing their dignity in a foam party.

Isn’t technology wonderful?

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