At Commonplace Fun Facts, we take pride in tracking down the weird, wild, and wonderfully ridiculous corners of history that make you spit out your coffee and say, “Wait—what?!” Today’s exhibit: Clarence Blethen. A man whose name sounds like an allergy to tapioca, and whose claim to fame in baseball lore is… well… biting himself. On the butt. With his own false teeth.

Let’s chew on that one for a minute.

The Man, The Myth, The Masticator

Clarence Blethen (1893–1973) was a pitcher in the early 20th century, back when men were men, baseballs were stitched by hand, and apparently no one had invented common sense yet. Blethen had a brief and largely unremarkable Major League career, pitching just eight games over two seasons with the Boston Red Sox. That alone would be enough to secure him a footnote in baseball obscurity — except that fate (and his dentures) had other plans.

You see, Blethen wore false teeth, which was not terribly uncommon in those days. But unlike other denture-wearing players who might’ve had the good sense to leave them in their mouths, Blethen had a ritual. When he pitched, he would remove his dentures and tuck them securely into his pocket — a charmingly quaint habit that, to our knowledge, was never endorsed by the American Dental Association.

For a while, it worked fine. Until one day, it didn’t.

The Day Baseball Bit Back

During a minor league game with the Seattle Indians, Blethen stepped up to bat. He wasn’t a strong hitter, and he knew it. That’s not sarcasm; the man had never recorded a Major League hit. On this fateful day, he took his swing and started to run toward first base — only to do what many overzealous baserunners do: he slid.

It was a bold move for a pitcher. But unfortunately for Blethen, it wasn’t his pride that got hurt in the slide — it was his backside. The dentures in his back pocket shifted during the slide, and like an overly enthusiastic Venus flytrap, they bit down. Into his own rear end.

Let’s pause here and give credit where it’s due: not many people can say they’ve been injured by their own teeth, especially while those teeth were not in their mouth. This may, in fact, be a record in self-sabotage. In other words, his strategy came back to bite him in the butt.

A Pain in the Assets

According to reports, the teeth broke the skin. It was more than a mere inconvenience. Blethen had to leave the game due to his injuries, which is perhaps the only time in sports history that a player was benched for a self-inflicted bite on the backside.

No word on whether the umpire ruled it an error on the gluteus maximus.

Tooth or Consequences

Blethen’s brief appearance in baseball’s record books might have ended there, but thanks to the magic of storytelling and the eternal flame of weird trivia, his misadventure lives on. His name surfaces periodically in those “Weirdest Sports Injuries of All Time” lists, usually rubbing elbows with other legends like:

• Glenallen Hill, who once crashed through a glass table during a nightmare about spiders.

• Marty Cordova, who missed a game after burning his face in a tanning bed.

• Sammy Sosa, who sneezed so hard he strained his back.

But even among that elite company, Blethen’s injury holds a special place — mostly because it’s the only one that sounds like a deleted scene from a slapstick comedy.

The Legacy of Clarence “Chompers” Blethen

We like to think there’s a lesson here, though admittedly it’s not one that comes up in most motivational speeches. Perhaps it’s this: always be aware of where you put your teeth. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that true greatness isn’t about ERA or batting averages — it’s about leaving a mark. In Blethen’s case, it was a dental impression.

So the next time you’re at a game and someone strikes out swinging, or pulls a hamstring rounding second, take a moment to appreciate the relative dignity of their mishap. Because no matter how bad it gets, at least they didn’t have to explain to a trainer that their own molars turned against them mid-inning. An additional bonus is that he didn’t suffer from the malady of exploding teeth, or the injury would have been even more inglorious.

Clarence Blethen: pitcher, pioneer, and proud owner of the weirdest baseball injury in history. May his tale continue to inspire us to sink our teeth into fun facts for generations to come.

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