Rasputin — the Mad Monk Who Wouldn’t Die


Grigori Rasputin, the Mad Monk, was poisoned, but he didn’t die. So he went after the guys who poisoned him, and they stabbed him. He still didn’t die and kept going after the assassins, so they shot him and thought they had finished him. His eyes opened and he lunged for one of the assassins to strangle him, so they shot him some more. This time he started to crawl away. They then thrashed him, tied him up, threw him in a sack, and threw the sack into the river. Two days later the sack was recovered, and it looked like Rasputin almost escaped his bindings and clawed out of the bag. To top it all, while his body was being burned, the tendons shrunk and he sat up in the fire. The final cause of death was drowning.

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