Reptiles Running the Government?

Reptilian conspiracy. Shape-shifting lizard people.

Many of us wondered, as children, whether our teachers were from another planet, but how many adults believe the government is run by aliens? As it turns out, it is a pretty sizeable number. A recent report revealed that 12 million Americans believe the country is controlled by shape-shifting lizard people from outer space.This conspiracy theory holds to the belief that Reptilians — shape-shifting reptile aliens — have infiltrated the highest levels of government and have, effectively, taken over the world. Conspiracy theorists are quick to point out any evidence that supports the claim. When, in 2003, Canadian politician Ernie Eves’ office issued a press release referring to his opponent as “an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet,” reptilian theorists rejected the explanation that it was just a joke and claimed it was evidence of what they have known all along.

When one of President Barack Obama’s Secret Service agents was observed to be somewhat unusual in his appearance and behavior, videos such as this one quickly made their way onto the internet. Other videos, such as this one suggest that White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is a lizard man, or this one, offering evidence that President George H.W. Bush is a reptilian.

Whole documentaries have been produced to show the conspiracy of the Lizard Illuminati. In fact, there are enough believers out there that they had their own matchmaking site, (now inactive), in which self-professed lizard people can meet other shape-shifters. One such person/reptilian who is looking for companionship is Gul’ac’bor, who says, “I’m 2,352 years old.  I’m a fun loving Lizard Person looking for another fun loving Lizard Person to spend all of eternity with, lamenting the fact that we are immortal and thus can never taste the sweetness of death. My hobbies include cooking, exercising, and kidnapping small human children to collect their tears for seasoning (mm! did I already say cooking??) I’m looking for a Lizard Person who will love me for who I am and not just the politician that I morph into.”

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