Oh, the joys of getting a writing assignment that promises to be quick and easy! Seriously… How much thought does one have to give to the question, “How long does it take to play the Minute Waltz?”

After several hours of research, we have learned the following: 1) The editor in charge of coming up with these questions is sadistic and was probably bullied as a child. 2) There’s no such thing as a quick and easy research project, and 3) it takes about a minute and a half to play the Minute Waltz — except when it doesn’t.

The catchy little tune we know as “The Minute Waltz” is officially “The Waltz in D-flat major, Op. 64, No. 1.” It was written by Polish composer Frédéric Chopin (1810-1849), who preferred the title”Valse du petit chien” (French for “Waltz of the puppy”).

Although commonly called “The Minute Waltz,” its nickname does not refer to a span of time. Instead, it means “small,” and it should be pronounced “my-NOOT” as in “minutiae.”

The piece is 140 measures in length with one fifteen-measure repeat. Chopin designated the piece with a tempo of Molto vivace. If played as the composer intended, it would take between a 90 to 180 seconds to complete. (Listen to it here.)

That fact doesn’t stop musicians from trying to cram the work into a 60-second span. To do so, one would have to play at the breakneck pace of 140 beats per minute, effectively turning classical music into a hip-hop rap.

20th century pianist and performer Liberace took a stab at accomplishing the feat at a more leisurely pace. He “cut out the dull parts” and finished the song in 37 seconds.

The Royal College of Music conducted a competition in 2010 to see who could play the song the fastest while retaining all of the intended notes. The winner accomplished the task in 53 seconds. Since then, others have broken that record, such as in the video accompanying this article, where the number is played in 23 seconds.

Chopin would likely have been amused by all of this discussion. He prided himself on never playing a song the same way twice. He also would have been amused by the confusion regarding its title. The names of his songs were the work of his publishers, who seemed to go out of their way to create confusion. His “Second Piano Concerto,” for example, was written before his “First Piano Concerto.”

Chopin was an interesting character. He taught himself to play the piano at the age of seven. Not wasting any time, he composed his first work — a polonaise in G minor — that same year. When he was eight years old, he gave his first publish performance, but he quickly realized he was better suited to composition than performance. He only performed publicly 30 times in his life.

Here’s a bonus fun fact: “The Minute Waltz” can be played hundreds of times during the time it takes to research the question “How long does it take to play ‘The Minute Waltz’?” The research is ongoing to answer the question, “How long does it take to stop ‘The Minute Waltz’ playing incessantly in one’s head like an earworm after researching it for hours?’”

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