Pursuing Peace, Professional Pickle Packers Propose Punting Problems, Purposefully Propelling Pickles

Commonplace Fun Facts has documented some curious political movements, such as the candidacy of Vermin Supreme, the Monster Raving Looney Party, and the presidential candidate whose running mate didn’t vote for her. None, however, have so zealously pursued peace through preserved foods as the Picklers Planetary Unity Party.

While much of the media’s attention during the 1976 U.S. Presidential Election season was focused on the contest between Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter, members of the Pickle Packers International guild decided the country needed a third option. They formed a new political organization and named it the Picklers Planetary Unity Party.

William Moore, modeling a giant-sized peace-preserving pickle.

The party envisioned the unification of the United States, Soviet Union, and China, under the name “Union of Socialistic-Capitalistic Republics.” With only two primary planks in its platform, the fledgling party devoted itself to “Peace Through Pickles.” If elected to power, the party pledged:

  1. Instead of a secure telephone or red button, heads of governments would be required to keep a jar of pickles on hand. At the first sign of hostility, the respective head of state would send pickles to his or her adversary, instead of nuclear missiles.
  2. If the pickle solution did not keep the peace, all politicians would be required to don uniforms and do the fighting on live television.

William R. Moore, then-executive vice president of the Pickle Packers International, reasoned, “We picklers think that with such a peace plan, both sides would either come to a quick armistice or talk themselves to death. Either way, we the public would benefit by such action.”

“We are trying to inject more humor into life,” said Moore. That is probably a good thing, since he spent his days traveling with a five-foot plastic pickle and wearing lapel pins proclaiming “Pickle Power” and “I Love Pickles.”

Sadly, the new political party found itself in a pickle when the country went with Jimmy Carter at the ballot box. Evidently, peanuts were preferable to pickles.

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