Can You Pass an 8th Grade Final Exam — From 1895?

Think back to 8th grade. Did you think you knew everything? Did you cringe if Mom or Dad tried to impart their valuable life lessons? Were you thinking, “Old people seem so stupid! If only they knew what I know!”

If those days have been at least a decade in the past, you likely now scoff at your youthful naivety. Who could possibly have ever thought that an 8th grader would know more than a seasoned adult?

Let’s take that a step further and apply that thinking to generations. Here we are, ready to start into the second quarter of the 21st century. With advancements in technology, scientific research, and cultural understanding, we can look back at the people of the late 19th century as if we’re seeing animals in a zoo. They’re charming in their simple, rustic ways. If only they knew as much as we know, imagine how much better their lives would have been!

If we have just described your way of thinking, prepare to have your self-confidence insulted, battered, de-pantsed, and taken into the bathroom by the school bully for a big ol’ swirly.

If you want to see just how “uneducated” and “simple” our 19th century predecessors were, just take a look at what they were expected to know in order to graduate from the 8th grade. Our writers in the Commonplace Fun Facts Department of You’re-Not-Nearly-as-Clever-as-You-Think-You-Are have stumbled across an 1895 8th grade final exam from Salina, Kansas. To our eyes, it is so intimidating, so densely packed with syllables and obscure units of measurement, it makes the modern ACT look like a BuzzFeed personality quiz.

The 1895 8th Grade Final Exam

This wasn’t just a pop quiz about state capitals and long division. We’re talking about a handwritten gauntlet of grammar rules, geography trivia, and mathematical feats involving bushels, rods, and other units of measurement that only exist now in pioneer reenactments and crossword puzzles. And the kicker? It was designed for 13-year-olds who probably churned butter before breakfast yet knew that a “diphthong” wasn’t a super-daring type of swimwear.

In the spirit of curiosity, humility, and mild masochism, we’re diving headfirst into this eighth-grade final exam. Will we emerge wiser—or just more deeply ashamed of our 21st-century attention education? Let’s find out. Just remember: No calculators, no Google, and please save your tears until your classmates have finished.

For a text version of the test, click here.

For the answers, click here.

Well… How did you do?

Grammar: Where Capital Letters and Dreams Go to Die

Sample Question:
Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.

OK… We’ve got this. We’re supposed to capitalize words at the start of a sentence, proper nouns, acronyms… That’s three. Probably internet slang wouldn’t have been on that list, so no LOLs… Well, maybe the next subject will be easier.

Arithmetic: Math Problems That Make You Question Your Life Choices

Sample Question:
A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?

First of all, what’s a bushel? Is it about the same size as a buttload? Second, can we just skip to U.S. History?

U.S. History: When Dates and Names Collide

Sample Question:
Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, and 1865.

Okay, that’s not what we had in mind. We were hoping for something along the lines of “True or False: The Monroe Doctrine is another name for Marilyn’s autobiography.”

Orthography: The Art of Spelling Words You Didn’t Know Existed

Sample Question:
What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?

Trigraph? Isn’t that the chewing gum that brightens your smile and makes your breath minty fresh? Subvocals… the opening act for the Diphthongs? Cognate Letters—Wasn’t she the foreign exchange student from France in high school who refused to even acknowledge our existence? This section is a stark reminder that spelling bees back then were less “cute kids spelling antidisestablishmentarianism” and more “survival of the fittest.”

Geography: When Kansas Was the Center of the Universe

Sample Question:
How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?

Well, considering Kansas can experience all four seasons in a single day, I’d say it’s Mother Nature’s way of keeping things interesting. The reason its inhabitants have to put up with it is to pay penance for Lewis and Clark wandering into the area in the first place. But these kids were expected to provide scientific explanations, not sarcastic commentary. Touché, 1895.

Final Thoughts

So, how did you do? Could you pass the 1895 eighth-grade final exam? It causes you to give some grudging respect to those old geezers who say that they never had more than an 8th grade education, doesn’t it?

There’s something admirable about the breadth and depth of knowledge expected from students back then. It’s a testament to the value placed on education—even if it meant memorizing nine rules for capital letters. And, in case you’re curious, here are the Common Core Standards for today’s students.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to brush up on our trigraphs and subvocals — and to see if Cognate Letters plans on attending the next class reunion.

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