Death and taxes are the two certainties of life. In honor of the rapidly-approaching deadline for filing federal income taxes in the United States, we offer the following observations from some notable critics of government acquisition of personal income.

Dave Barry — “We’ll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”

Arthur Godfrey — “I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is — I could be just as proud for half the money.”

Albert Einstein — “The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”

Milton Berle — “I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”

Gerald Barzan — “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.”

Dave Barry — “It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.”

Anonymous — “The trouble with the profession of tax collecting is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”

Will Rogers — “It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.”

H.L. Mencken — “Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.”

Vanya Cohen — “When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”

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