
Long before George Washington became the Father of His Country, commander of the Continental Army, first president of the United States, and owner of one of history’s more aggressively memorable dental reputations, he was a teenage boy with a copybook.
At about age 14, Washington copied out a list known as Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. There were 110 of them. Some are lofty. Some are practical. Some are basically, “Please stop spitting near people,” which is simultaneously good advice for anyone currently alive and an interesting insight into 18th-century social practices.
Washington did not write these rules from scratch. They came from older European etiquette traditions and were likely assigned as a handwriting or character-building exercise. But the fact that he copied them matters. They give us a glimpse into the kind of discipline, restraint, manners, and self-control that young Washington was expected to practice.
They also provide a useful reminder that civilization is not automatic. It has to be taught, practiced, and occasionally enforced when someone decides the dinner table is an acceptable place to clean his teeth with a knife.
Contents
What Are George Washington’s Rules of Civility?
George Washington’s Rules of Civility are 110 maxims about manners, conversation, self-control, humility, public behavior, table etiquette, and moral character. They cover everything from how to speak respectfully to how not to behave around food, fire, friends, strangers, superiors, inferiors, and anyone unfortunate enough to be within range of your spittle.
In other words, they are part etiquette manual, part leadership training, and part emergency public health bulletin.
The original wording is charming, but not always easy to read. So below is the complete list of Washington’s 110 Rules of Civility translated into plain English, grouped by topic. The goal is not to turn everyone into a powdered-wig reenactor. The goal is to show what these rules were trying to teach: respect other people, control yourself, speak carefully, and do not make your personal habits everyone else’s problem.
Why Washington’s Rules Still Matter
The modern world has changed in many ways since Washington copied these rules. We have electricity, airplanes, social media, and the ability to start an argument with a stranger in another time zone before finishing breakfast. Progress is a complicated thing.
Yet the basic problem remains the same: people still need to know how to behave around other people.
The best of Washington’s Rules of Civility can be boiled down to a few principles:
- Respect the people around you.
- Think before speaking.
- Do not embarrass others unnecessarily.
- Do not spread rumors.
- Do not dominate every conversation.
- Keep private things private.
- Be humble when corrected.
- Practice self-control, especially when annoyed.
- Do not make mealtime a public spectacle.
- Keep your conscience alive.
That last one is Rule 110, and it remains the grand finale for a reason. Washington’s list begins with etiquette, but it ends with character.
The 110 Rules of Civility, Translated into Plain English
Here is the complete list, reorganized into readable sections. Each numbered item corresponds to Washington’s original numbering.
Respect, Personal Space, and Basic Public Decency

- Show respect in everything you do. Every action in company should show regard for the people present.
- Keep your hands to yourself. Do not touch parts of your body that are normally covered when you are around other people. Also, needless to say, keep your hands off other people.
- Do not scare your friends for amusement. Practical jokes have limits, even if the 18th century had fewer liability waivers.
- Do not hum, drum, or fidget loudly in company. Other people are not background furniture for your personal rhythm section.
- Cough, sneeze, sigh, and yawn quietly. Cover your mouth and turn aside.
- Pay attention to others. Do not sleep while someone is speaking, sit when others stand, speak when silence is appropriate, or keep walking when others stop. We think he would also have recommended that you not be preoccupied with your phone while someone is speaking to you.
- Do not undress in front of others. Also, do not leave your room half dressed. Washington was apparently very firm on “pants before public.” You would not have seen him wandering a big-box store in pajama bottoms.
- Make room for newcomers. At games or near the fire, give place to the person who arrives last and do not shout unnecessarily.
- Do not spit in the fire or put your hands or feet in it. Especially if food is cooking there. This rule is both etiquette and a survival tip.
- Sit properly. Keep your feet steady and avoid sprawling or crossing them carelessly.
- Do not scratch, shift around, or bite your nails in public. Personal maintenance is best kept personal.
- Control your face, body, and distance. Do not roll your eyes, make strange faces, or stand so close that you spray someone while speaking. This is good practice for anyone whose face may eventually end up carved on Mount Rushmore.
- Do not kill fleas, lice, or ticks in public. If you see something unpleasant on someone’s clothes, remove it discreetly. There are few rules more colonial than this one.
- Do not turn your back on people while speaking. Do not bump a table where someone is reading or writing, and do not lean on another person.
- Keep your nails, hands, and teeth clean. But do not make a show of your grooming.
- Avoid odd facial gestures. Do not puff your cheeks, stick out your tongue, rub your hands or beard, bite your lips, or hold your mouth strangely.
- Do not flatter people or tease those who dislike teasing. Good manners require knowing when to stop.
- Respect other people’s privacy. Do not read someone else’s letters, books, or papers without permission.
Body Language, Sympathy, and Social Awareness
- Have a pleasant expression. But be serious when the subject is serious.
- Match your gestures to your subject. Your body language should fit the conversation.
- Do not mock natural weaknesses. Never reproach someone for physical or personal limitations.
- Do not rejoice at another person’s misfortune. Not even if the person is your enemy.
- Show pity when someone is punished. You may approve of justice, but do not enjoy suffering.
- Do not laugh too loudly or too much in public. Especially at serious or formal events.
- Avoid excessive ceremony. Empty displays of politeness are annoying, but real courtesy should not be neglected.
- Show proper respect when greeting people of rank. In Washington’s day this involved hats, bows, and enough social choreography to require rehearsal.
- Do not overdo formal politeness. Accept honor when properly given, but do not turn ceremony into a wrestling match.
- Stand when someone speaks to you. Even if the person is below you in rank, show respect.
- Yield to those of higher rank. Especially in narrow places like doors or passageways.
- Give the place of honor to others when appropriate. In walking, seating, or entering, know when to defer.
- If someone superior offers you a place of honor, do not fight about it. Politely decline once or twice, then accept if pressed.
- Offer the best place to an equal or guest. The guest should first modestly refuse, then accept graciously.
- Rank carries precedence, but youth should still respect age and merit. Office matters, but so does character.
- Put others before yourself in conversation. Especially when speaking with those above you.
- Keep business conversations brief and clear. A surprisingly modern rule, especially for meetings that should have been emails.
- Respect people above and below you. Those of lower rank should show respect; those of higher rank should show courtesy without arrogance.
- Do not crowd or stare at important people. Keep a respectful distance and do not stare directly into their faces.
- Do not pretend to be a doctor when visiting the sick. Comfort the patient; do not diagnose them after reading two pamphlets and developing confidence.
- Use proper titles. Address people according to their role, rank, and local custom.
Humility, Correction, and Handling Disagreement

- Do not argue aggressively with your superiors. Offer your judgment modestly.
- Do not lecture experts in their own field. It smells of arrogance, and also of every comment section ever created.
- Match your courtesy to the situation. Do not treat a prince and a farmer with the same formal ceremony, but treat both with respect.
- Do not flaunt joy around someone who is sick or suffering. Your happiness may deepen their misery.
- Do not blame someone who did his best. Failure is not always fault.
- Correct others carefully. Consider whether correction should be public or private, immediate or delayed, and speak with gentleness.
- Receive correction thankfully. If the criticism is wrong, respond later at a proper time and place.
- Do not joke about important matters. Avoid sharp, biting jokes, and do not laugh too much at your own wit.
- Set a good example before correcting others. Example is stronger than instruction.
- Do not use insulting language. Do not curse, revile, or abuse others with words.
- Do not rush to believe damaging rumors. A useful rule before reposting anything with sixteen exclamation points.
- Keep your clothes clean. Brush them daily and avoid uncleanness.
- Dress modestly and appropriately. Follow respectable fashion without dressing only to be admired.
- Do not run wildly in the streets. Also, do not shuffle, gape, swing your arms, kick the ground, walk on tiptoe, or otherwise move like an escaped theater prop.
- Do not constantly admire your own outfit. Avoid checking whether everyone has noticed your shoes, stockings, and general magnificence.
- Do not eat in the street or at improper times. Public snacking was apparently a moral frontier.
- Choose good company. It is better to be alone than in bad company.
- When walking with someone above you, show deference. Let them lead and turn first.
- Keep malice and envy out of conversation. Let reason govern your passions.
Conversation, Privacy, and Not Being Socially Exhausting
- Do not behave immorally in front of those under your influence. Your example matters.
- Do not pressure friends to reveal secrets. Friendship is not a subpoena.
- Fit your conversation to your audience. Do not bring frivolous talk to serious people or impossible subjects to those unprepared for them.
- Do not bring gloomy topics into cheerful moments. Avoid talking about death and wounds at the table unless absolutely necessary.
- Do not brag. Do not boast about achievements, wit, wealth, virtue, or family.
- Do not joke where humor is unwelcome. Do not laugh without cause or mock another person’s misfortune.
- Do not insult people, even as a joke. Cruelty with a laugh track is still cruelty.
- Be friendly and courteous. Greet others, listen, answer, and do not sulk when conversation is appropriate.
- Do not belittle others or boss them excessively. Authority is not a license to be insufferable.
- Do not go where you are not welcome. Do not give advice unless asked, and when asked, be brief.
- Do not take sides in a quarrel unless required. In minor matters, do not be stubborn.
- Do not correct everyone’s flaws. Some correction belongs to parents, teachers, and superiors.
- Do not stare at blemishes or ask about them. What may be said privately should not be said publicly.
- Do not speak in a language others do not understand. Use the language of the company, and handle serious subjects seriously.
- Think before speaking. Speak clearly, distinctly, and without rushing.
- Listen without interrupting. Do not prompt, interrupt, or answer before the speaker has finished.
- Do not pry into interrupted conversations. If your arrival stops a conversation, politely invite others to continue.
- Do not point at people while talking about them. Also, do not crowd someone’s face while speaking.
- Discuss business at proper times. Do not whisper in company.
- Do not make unnecessary comparisons. If someone is praised for a virtue, do not immediately praise someone else for the same thing.
- Do not spread news unless you know it is true. Do not reveal secrets or constantly name your sources.
- Do not be tedious. Stop talking or reading aloud when the company is not enjoying it. This rule should be printed on conference room doors.
- Do not pry into other people’s affairs. Stay away from private conversations.
- Do not promise what you cannot perform. Keep your word.
- Deliver serious matters calmly. Speak with discretion, no matter how humble the person is.
- Do not eavesdrop on superiors. If they are speaking to someone else, do not listen, laugh, or interrupt.
- Speak modestly among those above you. Wait to be asked, stand respectfully, and answer briefly.
- Do not argue merely to win. Allow others to express their opinions and accept judgment when appropriate. Today, he would caution that no one ever wins an argument on social media.
- Carry yourself with seriousness and attention. Do not contradict everything others say.
- Do not repeat yourself endlessly. Avoid tedious talk, digressions, and saying the same thing in the same way over and over.
- Do not speak evil of absent people. It is unjust.
Table Manners, Food, and the Long Battle Against Being Gross at Dinner

- At the table, avoid scratching, spitting, coughing, or blowing your nose unless necessary. Dinner is not a medical demonstration.
- Do not act overly excited about food. Do not eat greedily, lean on the table, or criticize the meal.
- Do not use a greasy knife for salt or bread. Some rules are oddly specific because someone, somewhere, made them necessary.
- Do not serve others unless appropriate. When hosting, offer food politely, but do not take over without permission.
- If dipping bread in sauce, take only what you can eat in one bite. Also, do not blow on your broth; let it cool.
- Do not put food in your mouth with your knife. Do not spit fruit pits onto a dish or throw anything under the table.
- Do not hunch over your food. Keep your fingers clean and wipe them on your napkin when needed.
- Swallow before taking another bite. Do not make your mouthfuls too large.
- Do not drink or talk with your mouth full. Do not stare around while drinking.
- Drink at a reasonable pace. Wipe your lips before and after drinking, and do not breathe loudly.
- Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, fork, or knife. Use a toothpick if necessary, and preferably not as performance art.
- Do not rinse your mouth in front of others. Some things are best kept away from witnesses.
- Do not constantly urge others to eat or drink. Let people manage their own plates and cups.
- Do not take longer to eat than your betters. Place only your hand, not your whole arm, on the table.
- The most honored person should begin the meal. But that person should start promptly so slower eaters have enough time.
- Do not show anger at the table. Keep a cheerful face, especially with guests, because good humor improves any meal.
- Do not fight for the best seat. If the head of the table is yours, accept it; if not, do not make everyone uncomfortable.
- If others speak at the table, listen. But do not talk with food in your mouth.
Faith, Recreation, and Conscience
- Speak reverently about God and honor your parents. Washington’s original rule combines religious seriousness with family duty.
- Choose wholesome recreation. Let your amusements be manly, not sinful — or, in modern terms, enjoy yourself without becoming a public cautionary tale.
- Keep your conscience alive. Labor to preserve that “little spark of celestial fire” called conscience.
The Best Rules of Civility for Modern Life
Some of Washington’s rules are locked firmly in the 18th century. Most people today do not need formal guidance on how many times to refuse the best seat before accepting it. If they do, they are probably at a banquet with assigned seating and a clipboard-wielding event coordinator already in distress.
But several rules remain remarkably useful. These are the ones that deserve a comeback:
- Rule 1: Show respect in every action.
- Rule 6: Pay attention when others speak.
- Rule 18: Respect private papers and correspondence.
- Rule 22: Do not rejoice in another person’s misfortune.
- Rule 35: Keep business communication brief and clear.
- Rule 45: Correct others gently and at the right time.
- Rule 50: Do not believe every damaging rumor.
- Rule 58: Let reason govern your passions.
- Rule 74: Do not interrupt.
- Rule 79: Do not repeat news unless you know it is true.
- Rule 89: Do not speak evil of absent people.
- Rule 105: Stay cheerful at the table.
- Rule 108: Honor God and your parents.
- Rule 110: Keep your conscience alive.
Which Rules Should We Leave in the 1700s?
Not every rule needs to be revived. Some are artifacts of an intensely hierarchical society where everyone needed to know exactly who walked on which side of the path, who removed his hat first, and who was socially authorized to unfold a napkin. It sounds exhausting, though admittedly still better organized than most group texts.
The rules about rank, hats, bowing, and who gets the best chair tell us a great deal about Washington’s world. They also remind us that civility is not the same thing as servility. Respecting people does not require pretending that every room is a royal court.
Other rules are wonderfully practical but oddly specific. Do not kill fleas in public. Do not spit in the fire. Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth. These are not merely historical curiosities. They are evidence that human beings have always needed to be told things that should have been obvious.
What Washington’s Rules Really Teach
Washington’s rules were not about becoming stiff, humorless, or permanently trapped in a waistcoat. They were about self-command. That quality mattered throughout his life, whether he was refusing to let a public insult become a duel, stepping away from power when monarchy was still an option, or using restraint when the entire young republic could have benefited from fewer egos and more adults in the room.
The most important lesson from Washington’s Rules of Civility is not that we should all become stiff, formal, powdered-wig versions of ourselves. Nobody needs that. The dry cleaning alone would be unbearable.
The real lesson is self-control and respect.
Washington’s rules teach a person to pause before speaking, consider others before acting, and avoid turning every impulse into public behavior. That is the foundation of manners. It is also the foundation of leadership.
Washington lived in a world where reputation mattered, social conduct mattered, and personal restraint was considered part of public character. We may not need to copy all 110 rules into a schoolbook by hand, but we could do worse than adopting the spirit behind them.
Respect others. Speak carefully. Avoid cruelty. Keep your promises. Do not spread rumors. Do not talk with your mouth full. And, above all, keep alive that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
Not bad advice from a teenage copybook. Especially one that still has to tell people not to spit near dinner.
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